


Erase and Rewind

by luvsanime02



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, GW Rare Pair Big Bang, Humor, Implied/Referenced Amnesia, M/M, Mild Angst, Mild Language, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-07-28 22:42:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7659727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvsanime02/pseuds/luvsanime02
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wufei runs into his ex-boyfriend, Trowa, who’s surprisingly cordial to him after their awful breakup two years ago. After a few meetings, Wufei finds out that Trowa was in a car accident and has amnesia. He doesn’t remember Wufei, doesn’t remember their awful fights, doesn’t remember the breakup… and now it seems that Trowa is falling for Wufei all over again. Meanwhile, Wufei’s never gotten over Trowa. Is this his chance to start over again and make their relationship work this time, or will trying only doom them both to repeating the same mistakes?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally submitted to the GW RarePair Big Bang over on tumblr: gwrarepairbigbang.tumblr.com. Everyone, head on over there to also check out all of the other amazing entries!

**Disclaimer:** I don’t own Gundam Wing, and am making no profit off of this fic.

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**Erase and Rewind** by luvsanime02

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Chapter 1

“Trowa?”

Chang Wufei cursed himself in the next moment, but by then it was far too late. Trowa Barton, his ex-lover, was already turning around at the sound of his name being called.

Wufei could blame the slip-up on his surprise at seeing Trowa in the same office building where he worked. He could even blame it on being up most of the night before going over a recent court case, and not having time for more than a quick shower before driving back into work this morning after too-little sleep.

Really, though, Wufei had spoken up without thought because suddenly seeing Trowa again after their disastrous break-up two years ago had greatly unbalanced him.

Trowa turned, and he gave Wufei a mildly polite look. “…Yes?”

Well, that was… unexpected.

Not that Wufei was necessarily upset at the lack of a personal greeting. Even though two years should theoretically be enough time for both of them to forgive each other for the way their relationship had deteriorated and devolved into one endless fight after the next. It’s not like Wufei was expecting Trowa to look happy to see him, but…

But maybe, if he was being honest with himself, Wufei had been expecting something more _._

Perhaps he should be grateful. After all, Trowa could have gone the route of biting sarcasm, or given Wufei the cold shoulder and ignored him entirely. Thinking of the worse-case scenario, being ignored, Wufei let go of his minor irritation at the lackluster greeting.

“It’s been awhile,” he said, despite the inanity of such a comment, the kind he usually hated resorting to.

“…Yes.”

Okay, now Trowa was just being annoying on purpose. Wufei resisted the urge to grit his teeth, or at least, not too much. He sent Trowa a look that he hoped conveyed his displeasure with the game.

What Wufei was absolutely not expecting was for Trowa to flinch back from Wufei’s glare as though he’d been struck. Wufei was stunned. What was that all about? A mixture of confusion and concern and, damn him, guilt flooded through Wufei.

“Are you alright?”

He didn’t know what else to say, to ask. It aggravated him that he cared so much, but then, that had always been one of Wufei’s greatest assets and worst weaknesses; he cared too damn much, most of the time. He was passionate, and he didn’t know how to let go of anything, especially during an argument.

Wufei had thought he’d at least learned how to let go of Trowa, but apparently not. The tightening in his chest at the way Trowa was even now returning his face back to that placid and unnatural smoothness pulled at Wufei, filling him with a sense of wrongness. Even as he irrationally resented Trowa for this sudden concern, Wufei couldn’t deny its existence.

“Yes.” That was Trowa’s only response, it seemed. Wufei was reaching critical levels of anger, of worry. “I’m fine,” he added on half-heartedly, questioningly, as though Trowa could tell that he was somehow causing Wufei distress, but couldn’t pinpoint the source.

“Clearly,” Wufei bit out in response. “What are you up to?”

Reduced to small talk. Wufei almost walked away, but he couldn’t bring himself to just let Trowa walk out of his life without looking back. Not again.

Trowa looked upwards, at the ceiling, as though he could see through the tiles and into the offices above. “I have an appointment,” he answered, after a long minute of silence.

Well, at least that had been a complete sentence, although a short one. Something in Wufei relaxed, just a little, though he was by no means satisfied. Abruptly, he wondered if Trowa was coming to the law firm’s offices for some legal matter. Wufei was only a paralegal, not a lawyer who handled the court side of cases, but he could probably arrange to handle all of the paperwork for Trowa’s case, if there was one, no matter which lawyer ended up actually taking it to trial.

He was being a bit ridiculous. Wufei knew that there were many different businesses in this building, including some doctors and specialists who had offices on the top floors. There was nothing to say that Trowa was in need of legal advice, and even less to imply that he was in need of Wufei’s assistance.

Speaking of the office, though, Wufei looked across the lobby he and Trowa were standing in and caught sight of the time on the wall clock. He wasn’t late to work, but he was pushing it if he stayed here talking to Trowa for much longer.

Irritated anew, Wufei walked over to the elevator and pressed to go up. As though his movement had been a catalyst, Trowa followed him, standing beside Wufei while they waited for the doors to open. It should have felt awkward, but it really didn’t. The silence was familiar, like slipping into an old sweater that had been thrown to the back of the closet for months, only to be unearthed while foraging for something else.

The others in the elevator moved aside to create a space for them to stand in, and they entered side by side. Everyone was paying attention to their phones or staring blankly ahead, almost desperate to escape the potential faux pas of accidentally catching someone else’s gaze. One of the interns where Wufei worked was there, and she gave him a tired smile and murmured a greeting that Wufei nodded at before turning away. Wufei himself would usually be scanning some papers already, his mind turning to the cases awaiting his research even before he finished the morning drive over, but today his thoughts had been thoroughly derailed by running into Trowa.

Not seeing any reason in pretending disinterest, and not caring to present such a front anyway, Wufei found himself looking over at Trowa, who stared at the doors for only another second before he returned the look.

Wufei didn’t know what to say. Maybe there wasn’t anything to talk about. Trowa was not his lover anymore, hadn’t been for two years, and it was no business of Wufei’s why he was in this building, or what he was doing with his life now.

It shouldn’t matter to him whether or not Trowa was currently seeing someone. Wufei had been the one to actually end their relationship, though really, he’d only given voice to what they’d both already known. Trowa had given up months before that, long before Wufei did.

That knowledge still hurt.

Now, he was faced with a similar choice. Should he say nothing, and let Trowa walk away again? Was it even his decision anymore?

They both shuffled around as people got off on different floors, everyone starting their work day, but Wufei’s eyes never left Trowa’s. He didn’t know what emotion he saw there, but he knew what wasn’t present. Anger. Resentment. Pity.

Well, no one had ever accused Wufei of being a coward. If Trowa refused, then that was that, but the only thing stopping Wufei from speaking up was himself, and he refused to back down from a challenge.

“Would it be alright if I called you later, and we met up somewhere so we could talk?”

Trowa blinked at him, a look of surprise and pleasure flashing across his face, and he nodded wordlessly before pulling out his phone. Wufei felt his own pleasure at Trowa’s acceptance of spending more time with him voluntarily, and they exchanged numbers before his floor came up.

“I’ll contact you later,” he promised. Just before the door closed, Wufei glimpsed a small smile on Trowa’s face. Interesting.

There was still something wrong. Trowa was acting peculiar, and Wufei didn’t know what to do about that. He doubted that it was his place to say anything. Reluctantly, he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind as he entered the office, slipping his phone back into his coat.

Later, he’d call up Trowa and set up a day for them to meet. Whatever was wrong, he’d find out about it then, most likely, or the entire situation would already be resolved. Either way, Wufei could be patient.

He couldn’t stop his own smile at the thought of Trowa coming back into his life again after all this time.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

By ten o’clock, Wufei had called four different antique dealers trying to find out a reasonable estimate for a client’s heirloom, in order to determine whether or not its monetary worth really could be the cause for the contestation of a prenuptial agreement. He ignored the uncharitable and bitter thought that perhaps the client shouldn’t be pushing for the prenup clause so much as calling off the engagement altogether. Working in a law office that specialized in civil suits of separation for so many years, Wufei had long-since become resigned to marriage having less and less to do with love, and more to do with convenience.

His job itself, as one of the firm’s paralegals, was particularly demanding. The amount of research Wufei compiled for each of the cases they handled would probably give any of their clients pause if they knew. Of course, none of them bothered to care what went on behind the scenes, so long as their lawyer showed up and won their case for them.

It was often a thankless job, too. The paralegals were mostly mistaken as secretaries by new clients, and sometimes older ones, and asked to bring in coffee or perform other menial tasks. When a case went sour because the opposing council managed to bring up in negotiations or court something the client had withheld out of shame or carelessness, the client wasn’t blamed. No, the lawyer and paralegal assigned to that case were held accountable. Never mind that Wufei and the others certainly couldn’t do their jobs properly without knowing what information they should be investigating.

Not for the first time, as Wufei hung up on yet another antique store employee who said they would have to get in touch with the owner and then get back to him, he wondered what he was still doing here and why he hadn’t quit yet. Wufei, while he did enjoy research of an academic nature, had never really wanted to be a paralegal. When he’d applied for the job, he’d thought it would only be a temporary measure to pay the rent while he worked on his Master’s in Chinese literature.

Somehow, Wufei had found himself with a demanding full-time job and no time for school. He kept meaning to go back and finish his coursework, but there was never enough time for him to plan ahead beyond the cases he was currently working on. Wufei barely had the time to sleep these days, or to remember to buy groceries when he ran out, let alone to try and sit down to plan out his future.

It had been one of the constant fights between him and Trowa, and one of the reasons they’d broken up. Trowa had been in school to become a veterinarian, and he held nothing but disdain for Wufei working himself practically into a coma for a job he disliked. Wufei had despised Trowa’s cynicism, mostly because his attitude had made it that much harder for Wufei to ignore his own distaste.

When it was finally time for Wufei’s lunch break and he couldn’t leave the office because he was waiting to hear back from several people still, he wasn’t surprised. Instead, he offered some money to someone who could leave, and demanded a large coffee. He didn’t even care anymore that he didn’t particularly enjoy the taste of coffee, so long as the rush of caffeine hit his system soon, before his lack of sleep caught up with him.

As an afterthought, Wufei also turned his personal phone back on. Three texts were waiting for him, and one voicemail. The first text was from his next-door neighbor inviting him to a party this coming weekend, and Wufei almost strained his eyes rolling them so hard. He didn’t know why Duo bothered anymore. Wufei had no free time in which to socialize. Still, he had to admit to himself that Duo was a conscientious neighbor, never causing trouble or playing loud music during the precious few hours Wufei was home, and he’d gone out of his way more than once to be friendly. With that in mind, Wufei sent back his own message.

_I’ll try._

Duo would appreciate the gesture, even if Wufei didn’t end up going. He’d appreciate Wufei showing up even more, even if he did pass out in a chair again. Though that had been an embarrassing situation that he didn’t want to ever repeat, even if everyone there had been decent about it.

The next text was from his cousin, which was unusual considering she’d sworn hatred of him when they were teenagers, and usually refused to contact him first unless their grandfather made her. He was lucky she’d since mellowed and deigned to communicate with him at all again, though she’d never lost that edge of arrogance that Wufei could fully admit was a family trait.

_Come to the gym tmrw._

It was just like Meilin to demand and not ask. Wufei was tempted to refuse on principal, but the idea of a spar appealed too much. It had been too long since he’d been to the gym Meilin’s parents owned, and Wufei could certainly use the workout. Which Meilin obviously knew, or she wouldn’t have bothered to message him about it. In her own way, she was expressing worry and chastising him for staying away too long. All in one imperious text. She clearly had a gift for nuance.

_I’ll be there at 1._

He wouldn’t be able to stay for more than an hour, if that, but the time spent venting his frustrations while sparring with her would be worth it. Besides, he loved her infuriated look every time he managed to win, despite the constant hours of less practice that he put into his training.

The third text was from Trowa, and Wufei read over the words obsessively as he once again remembered running into him this morning.

_Lunch ok?_

The message had been sent this morning, about an hour after they’d separated from each other in the elevator, and Wufei cursed mentally. This was not how he’d wanted to start their reunion, with another argument, and he sighed tiredly before typing out a response.

_Can’t leave work. Dinner?_

Hopefully, Trowa would understand that it would have to be a late dinner. Wufei pushed up his glasses so that he could rub the bridge of his nose, trying to ignore countless memories of him arriving late to dinners, straight from work and still holding a briefcase full of notes, refusing to apologize but feeling incredibly guilty. He didn’t want to go through that with Trowa again.

His phone pinged quietly only a few minutes later.

_Having dinner w/ my sis. Tmrw?_

Damn. There was no way that Wufei wanted to see Catherine, even if Trowa invited him along. Fortunately, he hadn’t, likely already knowing Wufei’s answer. The last time he’d seen Trowa’s sister, she had been chastising him quite loudly in her kitchen. It would have been much less intimidating if she hadn’t been cutting up food for dinner and obviously contemplating throwing the knife at him in her anger. Wufei had refused to be left alone in the same room with her ever since.

Lunch tomorrow wasn’t going to work, not after he’d already told Meilin that he’d visit the gym. Wufei knew better than to ever dare to cancel on her.

_Dinner? 9:30?_

Wufei really hoped that he wasn’t about to get a sarcastic comment back mentioning his long hours spent at work. He shouldn’t even be trying so hard to see Trowa again, but he couldn’t help himself. Just those few minutes this morning were enough to remind him how much Wufei missed Trowa. Besides, if Trowa was willing to reach out and communicate with him again, then there was no way that Wufei was going to pass up this opportunity.

_Alright._

He let out a long breath at that. No snide remark, no refusal; just acceptance. Was it really so much to hope that Trowa missed Wufei as well?

The voicemail ended up being from one of the lawyers asking him to bring some paperwork to the courthouse, and Wufei sighed before gathering up the necessary information and getting ready to drive over there as quickly as possible. He’d long since given up on attempting to reprimand his coworkers for calling his personal phone instead of the office ones, especially since the office phones were almost always busy. Reluctantly, he turned his phone back off and left the building, knowing very well that he’d probably miss an important call-back while out and have to return their message later.

Wufei tried very hard to remain annoyed with his work. Perhaps then he’d forget to be nervous over his impending dinner with Trowa.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Wufei was late to the restaurant.

Not terribly late. Nowhere near as late as he had been in the past, but every minute still felt like another failure. He’d half-expected to find a text from Trowa on his phone telling him to forget the whole thing. He’d checked his phone compulsively on the way over, but it had remained silent, until he put it away and walked through the doors of a small place he’d never been before.

When Trowa had sent Wufei the name of this place, Wufei hadn’t known whether to be relieved or not that he hadn’t chosen a restaurant they used to frequent before. Now, he was only grateful. Wufei appreciated that none of the servers would recognize either of them, and send him inscrutable looks of judgment.

His day had been hectic, but Wufei was feeling more relaxed, even despite the nerves he felt when he saw Trowa waiting for him, than he’d been in some time. He made a mental note to buy Meilin something she’d appreciate, as a thank you for letting him take out all his stress on her earlier. Perhaps he’d buy her a new _dao_ to replace the one he’d snapped in half earlier today during their spar. His cousin had certainly cursed him soundly enough as she’d thrown it to the side and leaped at him in fury.

Of course, he’d never tell her that he’d done it on purpose in an effort to unbalance her. Wufei wasn’t certain what she’d do to him in retaliation if she found out, but the tadpoles incident when they were fourteen had been more than a good enough example of his cousin’s revenge to last Wufei a lifetime.

Now, walking through the doors almost fifteen minutes late, Wufei felt sore all over, muscles he didn’t usually have time to properly exercise anymore letting their displeasure be known loudly. Still, he felt far less frazzled than usual, and that was more than worth all the stiffness.

Trowa looked up, and Wufei braced himself, but there was no condemnation in his eyes, only mild curiosity. It didn’t escape his notice that Trowa’s shoulders relaxed when Wufei sat down across from him. Briefly, Wufei wondered if Trowa had expected to get stood up again. He’d wager on yes, and wanted to feel angry, but instead he was tired.

Wufei didn’t want to fight with Trowa anymore.

The waiter barely allowed them to do more than nod at each other before stopping by, no doubt eager to get them started on their food so that they could actually leave the restaurant before it closed for the night. Wufei could hardly blame someone for wanting to actually leave their job on time, and so he assured the waiter he’d only need a moment to decide. Trowa, Wufei assumed, already knew what he wanted, judging by the closed menu resting off to his side on the table.

Neither of them wanted anything alcoholic. Wufei rarely drank, and definitely not in public, though he was surprised when Trowa didn’t at least order a beer or something similar. Still, he didn’t dwell on it, instead opening up his own menu and ordering salmon en croute, saying that the glass of water already at the table was sufficient. Wufei wanted coffee, but he knew better than to have any this late if he wanted to sleep at all tonight.

Actually, what he really wanted was just some nice, properly-brewed tea, but he knew the odds of finding such in a place like this, and so resigned himself to the water.

He really needed some proper sleep.

As though he’d pulled the thought right from Wufei’s head, Trowa’s first words when the waiter left were, “You look very tired.”

Wufei snorted, not bothering to deny it. He almost made some flippant remark, but remembered his earlier thoughts about not wanting to start fights with Trowa anymore, whatever their relationship was now. Instead, he made himself sit up fully and looked sincerely into Trowa’s eyes. “I apologize for being late. I lost track of time at work.”

It hurt him to say this, and he almost didn’t manage to hide his wince in time, but it was the truth. Trowa raised one eyebrow in what looked like surprise. “You were still working this late?”

Wufei frowned. Trowa had been on the receiving end of Wufei’s long hours spent at the office before. Being late by a quarter of an hour had been almost nothing to blink over by the end of their relationship. More often, Wufei had ended up calling Trowa to cancel an hour or two late, whenever he noticed the time and finally admitted to himself that he was breaking another commitment. Either that, or Trowa would leave a message on his phone that he’d gone home already.

No wonder they’d broken up. In hindsight, Wufei was amazed they’d lasted so long, and mildly horrified that he’d been so neglectful of another person. Trowa, being in vet school and with his hours at a volunteer shelter, hadn’t had a light schedule either, but he’d always made time for Wufei.

It shamed him very deeply that he could not say the same.

He wondered if Trowa was being sarcastic now with his question, but Wufei didn’t think so. Trowa’s sarcasm tended to be quick and cutting, and usually left Wufei feeling like he’d been hollowed out with a spoon. This sounded sincere.

Perhaps Trowa had hoped that their breakup would have been the wakeup call Wufei needed to finally slow down and work less. If only.

“Yes,” Wufei answered simply. There was nothing else to say. Then he sighed, quietly. “I am tired,” he admitted, and just saying the words out loud forced him to fight back a yawn. He refused to act so undisciplined in public.

Trowa watched him quietly, but he didn’t seem annoyed or exasperated. The silence that fell over them was calm, and reminded Wufei painfully of quiet evenings spent in their shared apartment, curled up on the couch and just relaxing in each other’s presence. He didn’t know when he’d stopped letting Trowa’s quiet nature soothe him, but he’d missed this feeling.

Ironically, Wufei had moved out of the apartment after Trowa left because he hadn’t been able to bear the loud silence his absence caused anymore.

It wasn’t until their food was served that Trowa spoke up again. “It’s fine. About being late. I would have waited longer.”

Later that night, in bed, those words echoed in Wufei’s mind, Trowa’s sincere voice the last thing he heard before he fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

They went out again on Sunday. This time, the two of them had lunch at a café. It wasn’t a big chain sort of place, but some little coffee and tea shop on a side road. Wufei made a mental note of the place when he saw that they brewed their tea using loose leaves. After a few sips, Wufei practically melted into his chair, extremely content. Brewing well-rounded tea took effort that Wufei hadn’t had the energy for in far longer than he cared to remember.

Last night had been his neighbor, Duo’s, party. He’d almost forgotten about it, but Duo had met him in the hallway and asked if he was coming. Wufei had agreed, if only because he knew that Duo wouldn’t hold it against him if he said no, but he’d be disappointed. Still, Wufei had been coming off of a long week with little sleep, so of course he’d nodded off again in one of Duo’s chairs. Maybe he wouldn’t have if the furniture wasn’t so comfortable, but then again, Wufei was so exhausted that he probably would have fallen asleep even if he’d been sitting on a hard stool or something.

Like before, no one had bothered him, talking quietly to each other and ignoring his presence, and Wufei was torn between irritation and gratitude when he woke up. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear Duo invited him to these things just to make sure Wufei slept at all. He wouldn’t put it past his neighbor, who had mentioned being concerned about Wufei’s sleeping habits more than once before, to the point of gifting Wufei with a book full of helpful sleeping aids that he still hadn’t had the time to look through.

Shaking the memory away, he looked up after he finally forced himself to put the cup of tea down again and met Trowa’s amused gaze. It was the first real look of happiness that he’d seen on Trowa since they’d met each other again.

Wufei huffed, but didn’t bother to hide his own chagrin. “How’d you find this place?” he asked, to distract Trowa. It certainly wasn’t somewhere they’d ever gone before. Wufei would have remembered this place, with its large selection and calm atmosphere.

Trowa smirked, just a little, but there was nothing sharp about it. Once again, Wufei was struck at how different Trowa was acting with him now, and wondered at the cause. He briefly considered that maybe leaving him had been good for Trowa, and didn’t know how he felt about that.

“Walking around,” Trowa answered, then shrugged. “My sister gets annoying, though I know she means well. Sometimes I just… need some space.”

Well, there was something that hadn’t changed about him. Wufei shook his head. Completely side-stepping the mention of Catherine, not wanting to get into how overprotective she could be right now, he said, “You’re not walking at night again, are you?”

It was a bad habit of Trowa’s. He’d wake up in the middle of the night, unable to fall back asleep, and ended up shoving his shoes on and just walking. Wufei had asked him before what he thought about on those walks, but Trowa had always insisted that he didn’t think about anything specific, just moved through the city and watched others walk on by, caught up in their own lives.

Wufei had never told Trowa that he could understand why Catherine worried about him when he did that. He’d lain awake himself more than once after Trowa had left their apartment, arguing with himself about whether or not he should run out after him and demand to come along, or at least that Trowa should take his phone with him. He never had, though; had only waited, worried, until he’d heard their front door open again hours later, and then sighed in relief and pretended to be asleep when Trowa came back to bed. Someone else might have wondered if their lover was cheating on them, but Wufei knew if that were true that Trowa wouldn’t have bothered to lie about it the first time he’d asked.

Trowa looked surprised, but Wufei didn’t know why. Did he think that Wufei would have forgotten about his habits?

“…Yes.”

Wufei frowned slightly. Now that he was well-rested for once, he looked closer at Trowa and realized that he looked tired himself. Well, when they’d broken up, Trowa had been applying to a couple veterinary practices nearby, and Wufei could only assume that he’d been accepted somewhere. The hours of a vet were likely not any better than his own, and if Trowa was waking up in the night and walking everywhere for hours still, he likely wasn’t getting much sleep.

It would have been beyond hypocritical of Wufei to bring it up when Trowa had let his own habits slide the night when he was late to dinner. Still. “How’s work?” That should be innocuous enough.

A soft smile appeared on Trowa’s face, just for a moment, and Wufei inhaled sharply. It always amazed him how attractive Trowa was when he smiled genuinely, his whole face coming alive.

“Very good,” Trowa replied, pausing to sip his own tea. Wufei had been pleased to see that Trowa was finally giving proper tea a try, since he’d shown nothing but distaste for it before. Maybe it was just this place’s tea that he liked. “A mother dog and her puppies just got adopted out last week. The place is quiet without them, but at least they all have homes now.”

His words were full of such fondness that it took Wufei a moment to realize what he’d said. “You’re still working at the shelter?” he asked. That was odd. He didn’t see why Trowa would still be working there, in addition to working at a veterinary practice. Wufei almost bit his tongue to keep all of his questions inside.

Trowa nodded, and didn’t seem to think there was anything more to say about that. Wufei didn’t know if he should push or not, or if he was even allowed to. He looked down at his tea, and saw his own concerned reflection staring back at him.

Wufei didn’t know what they were doing, him and Trowa. Here they were, on their second… date? After two years of not speaking to each other after a bad breakup. What was this? Were they dating again? The idea sounded almost absurd, that they could just fall back into a relationship again without at least talking about what had gone wrong before.

As much as Wufei wanted to just bask in Trowa’s presence again, and not disturb whatever ceasefire this was, he needed to know what Trowa was thinking about all of this.

He raised his head and looked Trowa in the eyes firmly, so he could see how serious Wufei was. “Trowa, what are we doing?”

Trowa frowned. He searched Wufei’s gaze, though for what, he didn’t know. Still, he let Trowa look, and tried to wait calmly for an answer, despite the mounting tension. At least Trowa didn’t answer with something inane, like drinking tea. Not that Wufei had expected him to.

“We’re on a date,” Trowa answered, his voice soft but his hands tight around his cup.

Wufei let out a breath. “Are we really? After everything?” Just like that?

There was a moment of quiet between them. “Oh.” Trowa looked upset, his brow furrowed, and Wufei kept himself still, knowing that Trowa wasn’t done speaking. “Did we-? We don’t just know each other from school or something, do we.” It wasn’t a question.

…What?

Wufei stared at Trowa uncomprehendingly. What the hell did he mean by that? His eyes narrowed as he watched Trowa look back at him blankly, seeming resigned and tired about something. He gave himself a minute to turn over the implications of that question, knowing without asking that Trowa wasn’t pulling some distasteful joke on him.

“You don’t know me.” This time, it was Wufei being rhetorical. Trowa continued to watch him like he was a stranger. Wufei suddenly realized that everything about Trowa’s behavior with him so far was starting to make a horrible amount of sense. To Trowa, Wufei _was_ a stranger.

Trowa didn’t bother to answer. He could obviously tell that Wufei had figured it out.

“What happened?” he asked, his voice as still and steady as he could make it.

Trowa let out a sigh that sounded shaky, and rubbed one hand over his face. “I was in a car accident two years ago,” he admitted. Wufei felt his stomach lurch, and had to fight to keep sitting down. “I have pure retrograde amnesia.”

Amnesia. Trowa had _amnesia_ , and he didn’t remember Wufei at all.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Wufei didn’t know what to think about this. Trowa was watching him closely, and he had to notice the way his words were affecting Wufei. He tried to take a deep breath to steady himself, and it seemed to help. “Are you-?”

He cut himself off before he could finish that question. Of course Trowa wasn’t alright. Physically, yes, he seemed fine. Wufei’s fingers still itched with the urge to run over every inch of Trowa’s body to be sure.

In a way, Wufei felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner. Trowa’s reactions to him had been so different than what he’d expected, more like when they’d first met. He’d known something was wrong, but… but not _this._

Trowa shrugged anyway in response. Likely, he knew what Wufei was asking, and had been dealing with others’ reactions since the accident.

Two years ago. When they’d broken up. Was Wufei partially to blame for Trowa’s amnesia? He wouldn’t be surprised if Catherine thought so, though in that case, he was mildly shocked she hadn’t hunted him down and killed him already.

She must have been helping Trowa recover, and she hadn’t contacted him even once. Part of Wufei knew that this line of thinking was selfish of him, but still.

“I would have liked to have been there,” he admitted quietly. “To help, after.”

That was clearly not the reaction Trowa had expected, judging by the piercing gaze he swept over Wufei’s face, likely gauging his sincerity.

“So we were dating?” Trowa asked, before an uncomfortable look suddenly came over his face. “I didn’t- I didn’t know that I was dating anyone at the time. I’m sorry. I-”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Wufei interjected, cutting him off sharply. “We used to date, yes, for a few years, but we’d broken up.”

Date. Hell, they’d been half a step away from engagement, even when things were starting to crumble between them. They’d been in love. Wufei didn’t say any of this out loud, though. He didn’t know if he could even get the words past the lump in his throat.

Trowa put one hand over his face again, laughing a little, though Wufei knew it wasn’t out of humor. “That’s why you looked at me like that when we met. Like you couldn’t believe I was there, in front of you,” Wufei fought the sudden flush in his cheeks, “and it was because you didn’t want to ever see me again.” Trowa looked up, lips twisted down bitterly. “And then you wanted to talk, and I thought you were actually asking me out, that you wanted to get to know me.”

“Well,” Wufei said, “I’m not sure if that counts as enough coincidence for situational irony, but it’s close.”

Trowa snorted, though his expression eased into amusement. “What, were you a lit major in college?”

Wufei ignored the pang in his chest at the question, one that Trowa should have already known the answer to. He could deal with his feelings on the matter later, when he was alone. For the first time in a long while, he felt a desperate need to meditate and clear his mind.

“Chinese literature,” he responded simply, instead of all the things he wanted to say. “I had aspirations to become a professor someday.”

Trowa eyed him speculatively. “But you’re not.”

He sighed. “No. I’m a paralegal now. I was when we were dating.” He shook his head. “I keep meaning to go back and get my degree finished, but I just never seem to have the time to plan all the logistics out.”

Wufei didn’t know why he was explaining himself to Trowa, why he’d said anything at all about it. Maybe he was hoping that, without a vested interest in his free time, Trowa would accept his explanation now.

If so, it was a foolish hope, and he should have known better. Trowa gave him one of those cold looks he was so good at riling up Wufei’s temper with. “That sounds like a nice excuse.”

Well, at least this was more familiar. Wufei glared. “I know that,” he snapped out. “I’m well aware that I’m wasting my life, and stuck in a job that I hate. You don’t have to point it out to me.”

Rather than get angrier in response, Trowa leaned back, lounging in the chair, looking far too amused. “This is something we used to argue about often, isn’t it?”

Understanding that he was overreacting and falling back into bad habits despite his best intentions, Wufei huffed, forcing his shoulders to relax again. “Yes,” he answered, sighing. “Among other things. We didn’t part on good terms.”

Vaguely, Wufei wondered if he should be less blunt, but he decided to ignore his doubts. It wasn’t in his nature to hold back when it came to anything personal or professional in his life.

“Ah.” Trowa nodded. He paused to take another drink from his tea, but Wufei didn’t bother. He knew they’d already gone cold and were past saving. Trowa grimaced, noticed the amusement in Wufei’s eyes, and rolled his own, before turning serious again. “Why did you agree to go out with me now, then?”

Wufei heard the underlying question. If we were so horrible together, then why did you call out my name when you saw me? “I suppose,” he said, measuring each word before he spoke it, “that seeing you again took me by surprise. Then, well, I was honestly intrigued. I’d thought for sure that if we ever saw each other again, you’d ignore me.”

Trowa looked startled, and then resigned. “You obviously know me very well,” he replied.

It was Wufei’s turn to stifle a laugh. “More or less,” he acknowledged.

They were silent for a few minutes. Wufei couldn’t stop his nose from wrinkling whenever Trowa picked up his cup and took another drink, and knew that Trowa was doing it only for that very reaction. “You haven’t changed,” he mentioned. Not really, not in the ways that made him irrevocably Trowa.

“Not that kind of amnesia,” Trowa quipped back, and Wufei tried not to wince. He’d apparently kept his awful gallows humor, too. Though that did remind Wufei that he’d have to research what ‘pure retrograde amnesia’ meant at the soonest opportunity. He didn’t know offhand, and he already knew that Trowa wouldn’t talk about it in detail, even if he asked.

“You weren’t wrong,” Wufei told him. Trowa quirked an eyebrow in question. “When you mentioned that I was looking at you that day like I couldn’t believe you were there. You know- knew- that I work in that building, so I was very surprised to see you there.”

Wufei remembered now, Trowa saying that he had an appointment that day. Knowing that the upper offices contained a few therapists, this explained things. Actually, he almost couldn’t believe that Trowa was going voluntarily, when he’d been so vehemently against the idea of therapy before. Wufei knew it was because his parents had sent Trowa to a psychologist against his wishes when he was a child, and he’d hated it and refused to see one voluntarily ever since.

Trowa nodded. “Nice to know I wasn’t completely misreading you,” he said. He didn’t mention the appointment again, not that Wufei had thought he would.

Still, he did want to know one thing. “Have any of your memories come back?”

There was a pause, and Trowa gave him an almost-incredulous look before he threw his head back and laughed. The sound was beautiful, even if Wufei didn’t understand what was so amusing.

“You’re the first person besides Cathy who’s ever dared to just come out and ask me,” Trowa admitted, once he’d calmed back down. “Everyone else just likes to ‘subtly’ hint around. Try to catch me out by casually mentioning things I would have known before, and then watch me to see if I react.”

Wufei snorted softly in disgust. That kind of tiptoeing around was a waste of time. “You didn’t answer my question,” he pointed out archly.

“No, I didn’t,” Trowa said, still amused. “No. I don’t remember anything. My episodic memory is completely gone.”

Wufei filed that term away for later. He could guess its meaning enough from context, though. Trowa didn’t remember his childhood, or any of his friends. Likely, not even his sister. And he didn’t remember Wufei at all. He felt a pang of loss at that. Sure, they’d blown up spectacularly at the end, but they’d been great at the beginning. Their relationship had been the most important thing in Wufei’s life, and to Trowa, it was as though it had never even happened.

On the other hand, Wufei couldn’t help but feel some relief that Trowa would never recall how awful Wufei had acted towards him. And then he felt guilty for being relieved. Damn it, Wufei didn’t know how he felt at all.

“So, what now?” Trowa asked him. He was still watching Wufei’s face very intently, and had no doubt noticed his change in mood.

It was a good question. “I don’t know,” he answered, though he hated admitting it.

Trowa didn’t look like he’d expected any other response, and nodded. “I think we should call it a day.” You need time to process this, he didn’t say, but Wufei heard it anyway.

“Agreed.” Trowa wasn’t wrong. Wufei didn’t know what he wanted now, and he needed time to think.

Trowa stood up, and then took a deep breath. “I’d still like to get to know you.”

Happiness and sorrow battled in his heart. “Thank you,” Wufei replied. “I still want to be a part of your life,” he assured Trowa. Needed to be, really. He could admit that now.

Trowa’s lips quirked in a small smile. “I suppose for now I’ll have to settle for that.”

Wufei watched him walk away, and tried to think past the tumult of his emotions. If asked an hour ago, he would have said that he was willing to try a relationship with Trowa again. But now…

Trowa didn’t remember how wrong it had all gone before. Would they just fall apart now if they tried again? Wufei didn’t know what to do. All he knew was that he didn’t want to hurt Trowa like before all over again. It was the main cause of his hesitation. Trowa had already been through so much. _He_ had already hurt Trowa so much, and above everything else, Wufei didn’t know if he could risk doing that again.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_Come to my place tonight._

Wufei stared blankly at the text. The words didn’t change.

That was not the response he’d been expecting to his own question: _Free later?_

He’d been expecting another invitation to dinner, or even a plain refusal. Not this.

As much as he wanted to take some time and consider what exactly Trowa meant, Wufei had work to do. He always had work piling up whenever he let himself relax for a few minutes. Working at Catalonia Offices of Law had, if nothing else, taught him that there was no such thing as leisure time while at the office.

Reluctantly, he turned his phone off after sending back a brief acceptance. Wufei spent the rest of the day convincing himself that he was being ridiculous. Trowa simply wanted to continue their conversation somewhere other than a restaurant. Still, was it really his fault that food wasn’t the first thing that came to his mind after reading a text like that?

Trowa had probably sent it to confuse Wufei on purpose, knowing him.

He got out of work early, for him, which was why he’d sent Trowa a text that morning in the first place. Wufei’s hours were usually never quite as long at the start of the week compared to a few days later, when everyone seemed to realize the end of the work week was fast approaching and they had better get their assignments done before the weekend. This level of procrastination never failed to irritate Wufei, who tried to get his work all done as soon as possible specifically so that he wouldn’t have to spread himself thin on Friday and Saturday. Too bad he seemed to be one of the only people in the office who was proactive about his schedule.

As Wufei left, he turned his phone back on. There was nothing else from Trowa, further proof that he hadn’t meant anything more by that text than what he’d sent. That was actually a relief. Wufei wasn’t sure how he could mess up with Trowa anymore than he already had, but he still didn’t think them rolling into bed and having sex together would make things any better.

Well, not yet, anyways.

There was nothing stopping Wufei from testing what Trowa was thinking, though. He sent another quick message.

_Want me to pick something up on my way over?_

His phone dinged almost right after, but Wufei had already started driving, so he waited until a red light before checking the text.

_No, I cooked._

That was not as illuminating as Wufei had hoped for. He was a little surprised. While he knew that Trowa was perfectly capable of cooking, he didn’t often choose to. In fact, Trowa’s cooking had usually only coincided before with an anniversary or family event of some kind. Or, he couldn’t help but think, the first time they’d had sex.

Shaking his head to get rid of those thoughts, Wufei started driving again, and before long, he was pulling up in front of an apartment complex. Walking up to the building, he eyed the neighborhood, not sure what to expect. Trowa’s last apartment, before they’d started living together, had been the typical studio of a starving college student, and it’d been in a building full of other students who were struggling to eat and pay rent each month.

Wufei was pretty sure the students in the apartments on either side had heard the two of them having sex often enough to passionately hate them both on principle.

Okay, he really needed to stop thinking about having sex with Trowa.

This building was nothing like the old one, which helped to dispel those memories even more. As was the sudden realization that Wufei was the only one who remembered those times anymore. He forced his clenched fists to relax, and took a deep breath as he started up the stairs to the third floor. This wasn’t fair. He just didn’t know who it was more unfair towards, himself or Trowa.

He knocked on the door before he could completely work himself into a state of rage again over events that no one could control. Trowa answered the door, and Wufei was immediately set at ease when he saw that Trowa wasn’t dressed up.

“Hi there,” Trowa greeted him. He looked not entirely relaxed himself, but not very tense either. More like he was anticipating an uncomfortable conversation than like he was getting ready to make a move on Wufei. He could handle that.

“Good evening,” Wufei returned. Trowa invited him in, wordlessly stepping to the side, and Wufei looked around in interest. He knew immediately that the furniture came with the apartment, and probably the potted plant in the corner, but it wasn’t bad. Neither of them had ever been prone to clutter, so he was expecting how tidy everything was.

“Should I give you a tour?” Trowa asked, watching Wufei’s eyes dart around to look everywhere.

Wufei shook his head. “No need,” he reassured, knowing that Trowa was only asking out of politeness, and didn’t actually like walking people around his home.

At that, Trowa relaxed further, and sent him a small, fleeting smile. “The food’s done,” he said, turning to lead the way. “I tried to time it so that the fish wouldn’t get too cold if you had to work late,” he added over his shoulder, his tone so innocent that Wufei knew it was fake.

Rolling his eyes, Wufei followed him into the kitchen. It was only when he went to sit down that he realized he’d brought his briefcase up with him and it was still in his hand. Sighing, he turned around and put it down by the door, and then returned to the kitchen.

Trowa raised an eyebrow when he saw Wufei’s empty hands, but he didn’t mention it, which left Wufei free to ignore the fact that he was such a workaholic he brought his work into someone else’s apartment now. How irritating.

Dinner ended up being fish and greens. Halibut, Wufei discerned after a bite. “I didn’t know if you liked red meat,” Trowa admitted.

Wufei smiled. “Not generally. Chicken is fine every once in a while, but I’m not particularly fond of beef, and I dislike eating any part of a pig.” A couple of guilty pieces of bacon every few months didn’t count.

“Okay,” Trowa responded, nodding. They were both silent after that, concentrating on their food. When they were done, Wufei offered to help wash the dishes, but Trowa waved him off, rinsing them quickly and leaving them in the sink for later. “That’s one habit you could have forgotten about,” Wufei mentioned, and then immediately wanted to bite his own tongue.

Trowa just looked amused. “My procedural memory is perfectly fine,” he smugly responded.

Wufei just nodded. He’d done some reading up on the different types of memory categorizations, and had already assumed as much. Without his procedural memory, Trowa would have had to relearn many basic tasks and daily functions, including how to walk and talk. While Wufei had no doubt that Trowa could overcome those handicaps with time, he wouldn’t have the same mannerisms and habits as before. No, Wufei was sure that it was Trowa’s declarative memory, made up of personal facts and experiences, that had been damaged irrevocably.

He followed Trowa to the couch, one reason Wufei knew the furniture had not been chosen by him. Trowa had never favored couches, but wanted several large, comfortable chairs everywhere instead. The couch in their shared apartment had been Wufei’s contribution, at his own insistence.

Once they were finally sat down facing each other, they both paused. Wufei realized that both of them were waiting for the other to speak up first, and huffed at how ridiculous they were both being. “Fine, I’ll go first.” He took a deep breath, and then said what he should have said yesterday. “I’m reluctant to start up a relationship with you again.”

There. Oddly enough, once that was out in the open, the tension in the air seemed to dissipate entirely, as though they were both just waiting for one of them to admit it. Trowa leaned back, stretching those long legs of his until he could prop his feet up on a coffee table. “It would be difficult for you, wouldn’t it? You’re a stranger to me now, after all.”

Just hearing him say those words stole Wufei’s breath. He gently shook his head. “No, that’s not it,” he replied. “Well, not entirely. I can’t pretend it doesn’t bother me that you don’t remember us dating before, but-”

He broke off, not sure how to explain himself. “It’s not that you forgot,” he continued, speaking carefully, “so much as what you’ve forgotten.”

Trowa said nothing, his eyes locked on Wufei’s face. He sighed, feeling tired just thinking about those final months of their relationship. “We ended badly,” he continued, forcing the words out. “And it was my fault.”

“Badly?” Trowa asked, seeking clarification.

Wufei snorted lightly and bitterly at the memories. “One way of putting it, anyway. We were fighting all the time, by the end. I was never around. Too busy working. Eventually, I drove you away.”

Now Trowa looked mildly shocked. “I left you?” The ‘I can’t believe I was that stupid’ was heavily implied.

Wufei raised an eyebrow, and smirked, but let the expression fall. “Yes. It was the best decision you could have made at the time. Our relationship wasn’t going to get better. I don’t know if you recall, but you’re quite stubborn.”

The look Trowa gave him was deadpan. “How horrible.”

Wufei eyed him closely. “You don’t seem all that surprised,” he pointed out.

Trowa shrugged. “I mentioned you to Cathy yesterday, after our date.”

Oh. Wufei didn’t know why he was caught off-guard that Trowa had done some research on him. He would have if their positions were reversed. He couldn’t help laughing into a hand, amused despite himself.

“Did she threaten to show up with a kitchen knife?” he asked.

Trowa was startled into his own laugh. “That’s a story I want to hear sometime,” he demanded. “And yes.” Wufei couldn’t even pretend to be surprised. “She told me we broke up badly,” he admitted. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, though, but she can be a bit overprotective.”

Wufei snorted. That was an understatement.

“I wanted to hear your side of the story,” Trowa finished.

That made sense. “It wasn’t all my fault,” he conceded. Trowa had preferred to disengage from arguments, instead of confronting them head-on like Wufei did. Where Wufei shouted and fought and grew vicious when angry, Trowa grew cold and cutting and distant. It was a difference that had driven Wufei up the wall even more than their actual arguments, more than once. “I think the majority of it was, though. If I’d prioritized our relationship over my job, things most likely would have turned out differently.”

Trowa absorbed that in silence. “Do you regret our relationship?”

He didn’t even have to think about that question. “No,” he answered firmly. “I could never regret meeting you. I was-” In love with you. No, Wufei couldn’t say that, not out loud.

He trailed off, and Trowa waited a minute before he spoke up. “Okay. We messed up big last time. I’m not really that shocked,” he added. “Otherwise, we would have still been together, right?” Wufei nodded, accepting the point. “I guess the question is, are you willing to try again?”

“Are you?” Wufei shot back. “Even if you don’t remember, you know I pushed you away last time. Are you willing to risk that again?”

“Yes,” Trowa replied simply. Wufei’s breath caught in his throat, and his eyes went wide in disbelief. He’d been ready to go on, to explain why it wasn’t himself being hurt again that he worried about so much as hurting Trowa again, but his train of thought was completely derailed by Trowa’s quick response.

Trowa smirked. “Are you really that surprised?”

Well, yes. “How could I not be?” Wufei asked, demandingly. “Do you not understand how much I hurt you last time? I-”

“No,” Trowa cut him off, voice suddenly icy to match the growing heat in Wufei’s. “I _don’t know_ , Wufei. That’s the point. I don’t remember dating you. Do _you_ understand what that means? To me?” Wufei opened his mouth to speak, but Trowa shook his head, not done. “How long did we date?”

He blinked, thrown by the question. “A little over three years,” he answered. Him missing their three-year anniversary dinner had been one of the final disappointments that contributed to them breaking up.

“Three years. Fine. Do you have any idea what it’s like for this incredibly hot and amazing guy to tell me that I was lucky enough to date him for three years, and I can’t remember one damn moment of it?”

No, Wufei didn’t know. Suddenly, he was being forced to see this from Trowa’s perspective, and he swallowed. He’d be furious in Trowa’s place.

Trowa forced out a deep exhale, crossing his arms over his chest, hands gripping his elbows. He looked exhausted after his outburst.

“I don’t remember _anything_ , Wufei,” he continued, voice even again, his gaze staring off to the side at nothing. “Not my parents, not Catherine. She says she’s my sister, and she has so many photo albums of us as kids that I don’t think I’ve even seen them all yet, but she doesn’t feel like my sister to me. At first, she was a stranger. One who was fussing over me in the hospital, and letting me stay in her spare room when I was released, driving me up the wall with all her questions and concerns.”

Wufei could see that. It had to have been frustrating for both siblings. Catherine was passionate, like Wufei, and prone to bursts of shouting when angry. The first few months of them living together must have been trying for both of them.

Trowa sighed, and gripped his elbows tighter for a moment before letting go. “Now she’s a friend,” he finished, “but she still doesn’t feel like my sister. I lost that, and it’s something I can never get back.”

He didn’t know what to say, so Wufei let the silence continue, giving Trowa some space.

Eventually, Trowa shifted so that he was looking at Wufei again, his expression determined. “If I can have a second chance at us, I want to take it. I want to _remember_ what it’s like to love you, not just see it in your expression sometimes.”

Wufei blinked. Had he really been that obvious? Apparently, yes. “That’s what you want?” he asked, because he needed to be absolutely sure that he knew what Trowa was saying here.

Trowa leaned forward and pressed his lips against Wufei’s. He inhaled in surprise, but pressed back, both of them keeping the brief contact firm but chaste, and then Trowa pulled away to watch Wufei’s reaction. “I want us to start over, for you, and actually give this a try, for me.”

He cleared his throat. “I think I can manage that,” Wufei replied, and was rewarded with another soft smile.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The next day, Wufei was the one who contacted Trowa first.

_Lunch again?_

_Same place? 1230?_

_Yes._

He couldn’t keep taking lunches outside of the office like this. Already, he was getting annoyed, and even worse, curious looks from the others. Still, Wufei had come to the unsettling realization last night that so far he hadn’t been making much of an effort to be around Trowa. True, his work hours were much longer, but Wufei knew that if this relationship were to have a chance in hell of not falling apart again, he needed to at least meet Trowa halfway.

Trowa deserved to know that Wufei wanted him back just as much. To that end, he actually left the office early, which he hadn’t done before. If he wasn’t so irritated by it, he’d find everyone else’s expressions of surprise highly entertaining. As it was, he barely managed to avoid rolling his eyes until he was in the elevator.

This lunch was much more relaxed than their last one, Wufei was pleased to note. Now that the air had been cleared between them, so to speak, and they were both on the same page, they fell back into the same easy intimacy they’d always shared. Wufei had missed this, so much. He’d never felt as close to anyone as he felt to Trowa, even now.

Wufei couldn’t remember smiling this much in years. When Trowa blinked at a stray pigeon that flew onto their table and started strutting in front of him, Wufei laughed so hard that he had to put his cup down and hold onto the table with one hand so that he didn’t slide right out of his chair. It was completely undignified, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Especially when Trowa shooed the bird away, only for it to take that as an invitation to hop up onto his shoulder instead and rub against the side of his face.

Eventually, breathless from laughing so hard, Wufei calmed down enough to reach across the table and push it off. The pigeon finally took wing and disappeared, but Wufei kept his hand where it was and used the leverage to lean over and kiss Trowa first this time. Trowa paused, and then smiled into the kiss, breaking it, and Wufei sat back down in his seat, feeling that his point was made.

“Staking your claim?” Trowa asked, his eyes shining with amusement.

“Perhaps,” Wufei replied, huffing in false consternation. “I should have known you’d have other suitors.”

Trowa ducked his head, snickering, and Wufei was pleased to see a light flush on his cheeks. “I’m sure the pigeon knows better now,” he agreed, admirably rearranging his face into something bland, his shoulders shaking slightly.

Wufei smirked. “Hopefully, it will pass the message on to all of its fellow avian friends. I’d hate to think that I’ll have to start carrying around a _dao_ on our dates in order to protect your virtue.”

“My _virtue_ ,” Trowa repeated, his voice sounding strangled. He lasted another five seconds before he gave up and started laughing, throwing his head back.

Wufei nodded, his expression mock-serious. “Yes, far be it from me to let the pigeon population think they’re free to ravish you as they please.”

Trowa was laughing too hard to reply. He was still chuckling when they separated ways, after another kiss, and Wufei considered this date a very successful one indeed.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Wufei should have been prepared, but he was instead completely blindsided the next day. He worked through lunch, in what he had already resigned himself as being a futile effort at convincing his coworkers nothing was going on in his personal life worthy of their attention or gossip. When he paused to take a breath and lean back in his chair, taking off his glasses and rubbing at the bridge of his nose, trying to fight off a headache, Wufei looked around the room just in time to see the elevator doors open and Catherine walk out looking very serene and peaceful.

It was exactly how she looked right before she punched someone in the face. Wufei had seen her do it before, not that the man who’d had the nerve to try and assault her had deserved anything less, but it might have been wiser to at least wait until they were out of the supermarket first. Not that Wufei would have waited, if it had been him. He and Catherine really were far too alike in some ways.

Catherine had still been yelling at the man sprawled out on the floor when the manager arrived and stared at the spectacle. Wufei had been casually browsing through their selection of spices while he tried to pretend he didn’t notice what was going on behind him. Trowa had been just as innocently stacking back up the stand of canned vegetables that had spilled everywhere when the man had crashed into them on his short journey to the floor.

Really, that manager had displayed remarkable courage when he’d stepped forward towards the chaos instead of retreating. Stupidity, but also courage.

Now, however, that look of impending murder in her eyes was aimed directly at Wufei, and he really should have seen this coming.

He waited, watching as she gracefully walked up to his desk and smiled at him. It was not a nice smile. Wufei raised one eyebrow in response, knowing that if he stayed silent, she’d speak first. Catherine let out a huff of air and dropped the sweet act, which was a relief for Wufei’s nerves.

“Wufei,” she greeted him. From behind her back, she brought out a paper bag. He really hoped there were no knives in there. “You haven’t had lunch yet, right?”

Her tone was slightly mocking, but Wufei was more than up to the challenge. He eyed the bag with even more trepidation, though, and wondered if he dared to ask if it was something she had made herself.

Perhaps not so early on in the conversation.

“You’re looking well, Catherine,” he said, pointedly using his manners and taking the bag from her outstretched hand, while getting up from his desk. Every eye in the office was on them, no one even bothering to hide their interest. Wufei wondered if Catherine realized that they were all going to assume he was dating her now. Well, he supposed there would be no point in mentioning it to her.

Wufei turned and led the way to one of the conference rooms not currently in use. It was the best he could do for a private conversation without leaving the building, which he didn’t want to do unless Catherine pushed the issue.

“Thanks,” she answered lightly. “So, how have you been lately? Anything new?”

He took the time to pull the food out of the bag, soup and a bottled water from a restaurant she knew he liked, and Wufei gave a mental sigh of relief. Catherine hadn’t come here to fight with him, then. If she had, he’d be gagging down something homemade. Likely ham and bean soup.

He looked back up at her. “Trowa told me he talked to you.”

She folded her arms and gave him an inscrutable look, watching as he started to eat. “Yes,” she replied. “I thought you’d leave him alone once he told you about the accident, but then he canceled on me for lunch yesterday.”

Briefly, Wufei wondered if she’d simply poisoned the food. Grimly, he kept eating another few bites before he paused. “We’ve decided to start dating again.” Blunt, but Catherine wouldn’t appreciate him being subtle, and besides, Wufei refused to tiptoe around her.

She took in a deep breath. Wufei was prepared for her to start yelling. Instead, she laid her forearms on the table and her shoulders dropped. “Why?” she asked, her head angled down so that she was looking at her reflection. “Knowing how badly you hurt him the last time, why can’t you just leave him be?”

The quiet question hurt more than if she had yelled. Wufei pushed aside the soup to give her his full attention. “Because it’s what he wants.”

Catherine snorted, her hands coming up to support her chin. “Trowa doesn’t know what he wants,” she retorted. “He remembers everything he learned in school, but doesn’t remember telling our parents he wanted to be a vet before they died. He remembers not to eat my cooking,” her laugh was small and sad, “but he didn’t know where those scars on his back came from. He’ll never get those memories back, you know. He’s been working at the shelter again only because he brought in a stray cat he found and they asked him to come back, but he’s not thrilled about the job, like before. He just… drifts, from one day to the next, from his job to his apartment.”

She paused to wipe angrily at her eyes. Wufei silently handed her a napkin. “I’m not surprised he’s having difficulty finding a new purpose in life,” he said simply. “He’s lost his sense of self.”

She glared at him, but only halfheartedly. “He still walks at night,” she whispered, and Wufei didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t what he’d expected at all. He’d thought she would be angry with him, and she was, but more than that, he thinks now that maybe she’s just needed to talk to someone who understands.

Becoming her confidant was certainly new. “I know.”

“Do you know how it happened?” she asked, looking at him curiously. Wufei shook his head. He’d been hesitant to ask. She sighed, but didn’t look at all surprised. “He was walking. At night. A car hit him.”

Wufei could picture it quite clearly, and swallowed down his sudden nausea.

Catherine ran one shaky hand through her hair, looking off to the side, obviously lost in the memory. “I didn’t even know until Sally recognized him and rang me.” Sally, Wufei recalled, was Catherine’s wife, and a respected trauma surgeon. “I might not have ever known where he was or what had happened to him if she hadn’t been on duty. He was in a coma for eight hours, and when he woke up, he didn’t recognize me.”

That must have hurt her even more than their parents’ deaths when she’d been ten. They’d been gone, but at least they hadn’t looked at her with a stranger’s gaze. She absentmindedly brushed away more tears now, took a deep breath, and visibly put herself back together, turning to look at him once more.

“Do you have any idea what you’re getting yourself into?” she asked him, leaning back in her chair in a way that mirrored Trowa’s preferred posture, though nowhere near as relaxed.

Wufei shook his head. “Not entirely,” he admitted. “I’m not expecting us to pick back up right where we left off-”

“-Good,” Catherine interrupted. “I’d hate to think I was wrong about you being _that_ stupid.”

Wufei raised an eyebrow at her, then continued when she fell silent. “We both understand that it’s not going to be the same,” he assured her. He refused to go into his feelings, about how he ached sometimes just looking at Trowa and knowing that they’ll never get those three years back, for good or bad. “When I asked what he wanted, though, he said we should start over.”

She was silent for a minute, and then another laugh escaped her, this one rueful. “Figures,” she said. “The first thing he’s truly had an opinion about in two years, and it’s _you_.”

Wufei smirked. “What can I say? He has good taste.”

Catherine was startled into another chuckle, though it died quickly. She waved at his lunch. “Okay, finish that before it goes cold.”

“Yes, Mom,” Wufei muttered, loudly enough to be sure that she heard him. She balled up her napkin and threw it at him, but let him eat in peace.

It was only when he was done that she leaned forward again, her eyes intense. “So, I’ve noticed you’re still working here.”

Wufei scowled, but he couldn’t hold it against her for bringing his job up. It had been the strongest point of contention between him and Trowa back before.

Speaking of, though, Wufei considered her for a moment before asking a question he’d been wondering about for days. “Is that why you didn’t tell me?” he asked, frowning. “When Trowa was hurt. You could have called.”

He’d meant that to sound angry. Wufei _had_ been angry about her not contacting him, but after seeing her cry, he somehow wasn’t anymore. Not after witnessing how much she’d been hurting and keeping it inside these past two years.

Catherine bit her lip. “At first,” she admitted, “it was because I blamed you. Not really, but a little.” She took a deep breath, and continued slowly, carefully. “It happened less than a week after you two broke up, after he’d been out every night wandering the streets, and then Sally called…”

Ah. Of course she’d blamed him. Knowing how soon it was after he’d practically pushed Trowa out the door, Wufei again felt the guilt well up. If he’d only tried harder back then.

“So yeah, I blamed you for a while, but then I got over it,” she continued, her eyes searching his face. “Trowa’s been walking at night like a crazy person for years, after all.” She snorted. “Even losing his memory didn’t change that about him. Then… I don’t know, Wufei,” she said, sounding tired. “Maybe I just didn’t want you to have to deal with this, too. You and Trowa were already over, so why drag you into it?”

Wufei pressed his lips together against his immediate answer. Because he would have wanted to be there. For Trowa, and even for her. Because even though it had been two years ago, part of Wufei felt like he’d at least deserved to _know_.

He hadn’t, though. Not really. He’d given up that right when he threw Trowa away.

“Thank you,” he said, because in her own way she’d been trying to protect him by leaving him ignorant, even though Wufei didn’t agree with her decision.

She shrugged. “He loved you,” she responded, as though that was the only explanation needed. For her, maybe it was. “And maybe, if you’re really damn lucky, someday he’ll love you again.”

Wufei smiled. “I hope so.”

While he didn’t say it out loud, he could tell from the way she relaxed and smiled back that Catherine understood Wufei still loved Trowa. “Are you doing okay?” she asked, and he knew that this time she was sincere in her concern.

“Somewhat,” he answered, as truthful as he could get.

She shook her head. “I don’t mean about Trowa,” she explained. “I mean- You’re still working here.”

It looked like they’d finally gotten around to that again. Wufei should know by now that there was no dodging her questions forever. “I won’t let it become an issue again,” he assured her. Even as he said the words, though, he wondered. Was that really true? Determination burned through him. He’d make it the truth. If nothing else, Catherine was likely to eviscerate him if he hurt Trowa like that again. Wufei would probably even let her.

He wasn’t expecting her to sigh and roll her eyes at his response. “Not that,” she admonished. “I’m not talking about Trowa right now. I’m talking about you, Wufei. Aside from how much it bothered Trowa to watch you practically waste away from stress and fatigue, I don’t think you get how much this job is killing you.”

He shifted, uncomfortable. Mostly because she wasn’t wrong. “And what should I do about that?” he asked. That probably wasn’t fair of him, because he knew what she would say, but she was the one who wasn’t letting the topic go.

She gave him an impatient look, but didn’t seem upset. “Have you thought about contacting a counselor?”

Wufei froze. “And why,” he demanded, angry at the insinuation that he couldn’t take care of himself without seeking professional help, “would I need to see a therapist because of my work?” Not to mention, when would he have the time? Did she think he could just pop into one of their offices during his lunch break?

Actually, that idea wasn’t entirely meritless, if he wanted to consider therapy. Which he did not.

Catherine blinked, and looked surprised, and then exasperated again. “No, not a therapist, a _counselor_. An academic counselor, Wufei.”

…He’d never thought of that. How had he never even considered that option before? His silence must have spoken volumes, because Catherine shook her head like he was being very dense, and then pulled out her phone. “What’s your email?” she asked.

Wufei stared at her in disbelief. “You contacted an academic advisor for me?” This woman would never make any sense, he decided right then and there.

“I contacted a website that specializes in academic and enrollment counseling,” she corrected. “They help mostly with students going back to school after taking some time off, and those who can only talk online because of busy schedules.” She shot him a pointed look. “Get in contact with them, set up a time when you can sit down for five minutes and explain everything, and then _get moving_.”

Wufei sat there, and breathed, and didn’t know what to think. He sent a brief thanks to his ancestors that Catherine was not _his_ sister, no matter how wonderful she could sometimes be.

“Thank you,” he said again, this time even more heartfelt.

Her answering grin was smug, which he let slide just this once.

He gave her his email, and his personal phone number, and regretted the latter almost right away, already imagining how many calls and texts and invitations to dinner he’d be dodging from her in the future. It wasn’t long after that she got up and left, leaving Wufei to get back to work. For the first time in years, though, he felt as though the daily grind of his job wasn’t slowly crushing him to death.

Maybe things would work out after all.

That decided it. Wufei was going to have to buy Catherine a gift to thank her properly. Perhaps he’d pick up some throwing knives when he bought the _dao_ for Meilin? He thought of Catherine’s reaction to the present if she didn’t find it amusing, though, and shuddered. Perhaps not.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

When Wufei got home that night, he found a note taped to the outside of his apartment door.

_Your cat sounded hungry, so she’s at my place! -Duo_

Wufei blinked. He rubbed his eyes, took out his glasses, and read the note again. The blurry lines sharpened, but the message stayed the same.

He didn’t own a cat. Could Duo have meant to give this note to some other neighbor? Confused and tired, Wufei walked the short distance down the hall to Duo’s door and knocked. It was after ten, and Wufei hoped he wasn’t intruding, but he wasn’t yet tired enough that he could ignore such a weird note. Besides, someone else was obviously missing their cat, and if Wufei didn’t tell Duo that he’d left the note on Wufei’s door by accident, then whoever owned the cat wouldn’t know it was here.

Duo opened the door, and grinned when he saw Wufei. “Hey, man. Want to come in? You’re clearly exhausted.”

One of the reasons why he liked Duo was because he never asked Wufei inane questions. He’d outright announce them as statements, and they never required an answer.

Wufei entered the clean apartment and looked around, but he didn’t see a cat anywhere. Still wondering how this bizarre situation had managed to suddenly include him, Wufei held up the note. “What is this about?”

Duo looked sheepish. “Yeah, sorry about that. Didn’t mean to steal her or anything, honest.”

That response just confused him even more. “A cat?” he asked, making absolutely sure that was what they were talking about.

A small cat chose that moment to walk into the room, coming from the kitchen. She, if it was a she, was very small and tiger-striped, with white mittens on her feet. Wufei watched as she wound around the legs of a table and then came over to sniff his shoes.

“Uh, her?” Duo replied, waving vaguely at the cat now attacking his shoelaces. Her tugs were surprisingly forceful for such a tiny thing.

Wufei looked up at him and frowned. “What made you think she was my cat?”

Duo’s brows furrowed. “She isn’t? She was sitting on the balcony and pawing at your door to get in.”

The balcony was shared between their apartments, but no one else’s. Still, she could have easily climbed up or down from someone else’s apartment. Wufei reached down and put his hand in front of her face to let her sniff, then used his other hand to pick her up around her middle while she was distracted. She meowed once, and then he had a bundle of content cat in his arms.

“She’s obviously used to humans,” he murmured, scratching around her neck. She didn’t have a collar on.

Duo sighed. “Well, damn,” he said, which Wufei felt summed up the situation quite well. “Think she’s a stray?”

As he was petting her, Wufei noticed some cuts hidden under her fur, and that one of the reasons she was so small was because she was nothing but bones. “Yes,” he sighed. “I don’t think she’s eaten regularly in a while.”

The cat chose that moment to start purring. Wufei didn’t know what to do with her. He highly doubted she belonged to anyone in the building, given the state that she was in. “Do you want her?” he asked Duo. It wasn’t that he was trying to foist the cat off on his neighbor, exactly, but Duo was the one who’d let her into his home first.

The look Duo shot him was very sardonic. “I don’t think she’d like that.” Wufei looked at him questioningly. “Put her down on the floor,” Duo added, pointing.

Wufei did so, and watched as Duo knelt down and held out a hand much like he’d done. “Here, kitty. Good girl,” Duo crooned at her, sounding completely ridiculous in Wufei’s opinion.

To his astonishment, the little thing arched its back and hissed in response. Duo quickly yanked his hand away and stood up, giving Wufei a look that was equal parts amusement and frustration. “I had to leave my balcony door open and let her walk through on her own because she refused to let me touch her.”

Alright, now Wufei was reluctantly amused, too. Except obviously that meant dealing with the cat would be his problem, not Duo’s. “Perfect,” he deadpanned. “I suppose I’ll take her to a shelter.”

Duo frowned, but didn’t say anything in protest. Wufei didn’t ask. He knew that some people didn’t approve of shelters, but he didn’t see that he had any other choice. The cat might still belong to someone in the city, and had simply gotten out by accident. If Wufei took her to a shelter, then there was a chance her owner could find her again.

They talked for another minute before Wufei picked up the cat again, which was still docile at his touch, and left. He grumbled internally at the time he was wasting, but there was no help for it.

The cat sat in the passenger seat, not moving, which Wufei was very grateful for. He used his phone to find the nearest shelter and drove there, hoping like hell that they were open. They weren’t, and he cursed. Of course he was stuck driving around when he should be asleep because a cat had decided he was catnip or something.

The next shelter was larger, and to Wufei’s relief, he saw lights on in the lobby. The door opened, and he walked in with the cat tucked under his chin, purring again. There was no one in the lobby. He looked around, but there wasn’t a bell he could ring on the desk or anything, and Wufei really hoped that the place was open after all, and not that they always left their lights on and the lock was busted, or something.

Someone came around a corner just as Wufei was considering whether it would be better to walk around until he found someone, or leave.

Trowa stopped and looked quite startled to see him. Wufei couldn’t stop the automatic smile that came to his face, even as tired and frustrated as he was. “Hello.”

“Hi.” Trowa eventually walked forward and focused on the cat in his arms, frowning a little, and reached for her. She was just as calm in his arms as she’d been in Wufei’s, and he breathed a sigh of relief, glad that she didn’t seem to hate Trowa, too. “What happened?”

Wufei stretched out his now-free arms. “My neighbor found her on our balcony and thought she was mine. She doesn’t have a collar, and she’s too thin.”

Trowa was carefully running his fingers over the cat while they were talking, checking out her condition. He paused, and looked back up at Wufei. “She?”

He shrugged. “My neighbor said ‘she’. Why, is that wrong?”

The cat didn’t seem to care very much for being turned over, and let out another meow of protest. Trowa hushed it absently, and Wufei was transfixed at the easy way he handled the animal. “Definitely wrong,” he said after a moment. “Though he’s neutered, he’s male.”

Wufei let out a snort of amusement. “Perhaps that’s why he objected to Duo.”

“I sincerely doubt it,” Trowa replied, deadpan. “I’ve never met an animal besides a human who cared what sex you labeled it as. Come on,” he continued, walking towards the desk, the cat lying in his arms properly again.

Wufei blinked. “What are we doing?” he asked, following.

Trowa passed him the cat. “You’re holding him, and I’m filling out the paperwork. There’s no one else here, this late.”

“Why are _you_ here this late?” Wufei asked, the question having been on his mind ever since he saw Trowa walk into the lobby.

A pen moved across papers with the ease of repetition as Trowa replied. “Sometimes, I stay late. In case anyone finds a stray after work or something,” he added, nodding to the cat. “I close the place up at midnight.”

Wufei was quiet then, and let Trowa work while he petted the cat. It was now trying to fall asleep in his arms, and was heavier than he’d assumed a cat that size would be, especially in its condition. When he looked back up, Trowa was watching him intently.

“What?” he asked, not sure what the look was for.

Trowa looked back down at the papers. “You’re wearing glasses,” he said.

He must have forgotten to take them back off after reading Duo’s note, and winced at the realization that he was driving around with them on. He really was too tired, to forget something like that.

“They’re for reading. I usually only use them for work.” Or class. Wufei remembered that he might have another reason to wear his glasses soon, and the thought made him smile again.

“They suit you,” Trowa admitted. He was still looking at Wufei out of the corner of his eye.

He’d never really understood that expression. Glasses were a necessity, not an accessory, in his opinion. Still, he was mildly amused that his glasses were so interesting. He pushed away the thought that Trowa should have already known about them, and just savored his reaction in the present.

Wufei scratched the cat behind an ear. “Thank you,” he replied simply.

Trowa nodded, then gestured to the cat. “Do you want to adopt him?”

That wasn’t something Wufei had considered. He gave it a moment’s thought, but shook his head. “I’m hardly ever home,” he said. Although, that could possibly be changing soon.

Trowa put down the papers and walked over to Wufei, reaching out to pet the cat. It opened one eye and let out a sleepy grumble in response, yawning. Trowa kept petting its fur, his fingers brushing over Wufei’s. His breath caught at the touch.

“He seems to like you,” Trowa said, his voice mild. His eyes were fixed on Wufei’s.

“Apparently, I’m irresistible,” he replied, his tone purposely light.

Trowa laughed softly. “You are,” he agreed.

Wufei felt his stomach flip. It was an oddly pleasant sensation. “What are you suggesting, then?”

“Well,” Trowa said, smirking, “you could always use him to chase any pigeons away.”

He laughed. “I could use the help,” Wufei agreed. “Protecting your virtue is hard work.”

Their fingers had stopped moving, Trowa’s hand now holding onto his.

“So,” Trowa asked, “I could take him for half the time, and you take him for the rest?”

Wufei rolled his eyes. “He could still belong to someone else,” he couldn’t help but point out.

“Actually, he’s legally able to be adopted in two days, and should probably stay here that long anyway, so we can clean him up and give him some shots.” Trowa seemed unperturbed by Wufei’s protests. “How do you feel about naming him Heavyarms?”

What? No. “That’s a horrible name,” he protested. “His name is Shenlong.”

Trowa stared at him in mild horror. “…Fluffy?”

Now it was Wufei’s turn to stare. “Ozymandias.”

“Hunter?”

“Beowulf.”

“Prince?”

“…What is wrong with you? Imhotep.”

“And you’re asking what’s wrong with me. Caspian?”

“…Fine, Caspian.”

“You realize now that you’ve named him, he’s yours, right?”

“Worth it. I couldn’t let you name the poor cat _Heavyarms_.”


	10. Chapter 10

Epilogue

Three months later…

Wufei stood in front of Dorothy Catalonia’s desk, waiting for her to say something. She had her head bent over the papers he’d just handed to her, but he knew it hadn’t taken her long to read them. They weren’t complicated.

Eventually, she lifted her head and gave him a sharp look. Then, after a moment, she sighed. “Well,” she admitted, “I can’t pretend that I didn’t expect this.”

He was caught by surprise. “Really?” It wasn’t like he’d been slacking off at all these last few months.

She arched an eyebrow at him. “If you were going to stay, you would have asked for a raise by now. Or studied and taken the bar exam. Or engaged in some sort of meaningful interaction with your coworkers outside of the office.”

When she put it like that, Wufei could see how, in hindsight, it was plenty obvious that he was eventually planning to quit. Still. “I’ve been working here for years,” he felt the need to point out.

“I know,” she replied, sounding regretful. Of what, Wufei couldn’t tell. “I tried to convince myself that if you meant to leave, surely you would have done it by now, but I couldn’t lie to myself.”

He honestly didn’t know whether to be flattered or offended. “It was always meant to be a temporary job,” he said, not quite knowing why he felt as though he had to justify his decision to hand in his two week’s notice.

Unexpectedly, Dorothy laughed at that. “Was it?” she asked, suddenly sounding delighted. “And here I’ve been worried all these years that Quatre Winner was somehow going to seduce you over to his firm.”

Wufei blinked at her, honestly thrown by that comment. “I barely know Mr. Winner,” he replied, not sure what else to say to her remark. Besides, it was the truth. Sure, he’d spoken to Mr. Winner at the Christmas party they held every year, where the rival firm owner always attended as Dorothy’s date, but he and Wufei weren’t even on a first-name basis.

“Not my fault that he missed out,” Dorothy said, shrugging carelessly. Wufei had officially lost control of this conversation, and he didn’t even know how. Her reputation as a ruthless lawyer was a well-deserved one. “So, what are you going to do now?”

He wasn’t sure if she actually cared, or was just bored. It was hard to tell with her. He saw no reason to keep his ambitions a secret, though. “I’m going back to school.” It felt good, great even, to finally say those words out loud and have them be true.

Dorothy sent him a speculative look. “You could cut back on your hours here, if you didn’t want to quit altogether,” she said suddenly. “Maybe work part-time?”

Wufei was almost positive that no one here worked for less than 10 hours a day, no matter what schedule they had initially signed on for. He gave her a look that hopefully conveyed what he thought of her offer.

It must have gotten the job done, because she shrugged again, but then stood up. “Well, I can’t say I won’t miss having you here,” she admitted. “Even aside from the fact that your work ethic is inspirational, you’re excellent eye candy for new clients to admire as they walk in.”

He didn’t even want to know how serious she was about that last part. “It was a pleasure working here.” A blatant lie, though Dorothy Catalonia herself was an admirable lawyer, and he had nothing against his coworkers in general.

They shook hands, and she offered Wufei a genuine smile before he left her office. Walking back out onto the main floor was somehow different this time. He looked around at people answering phones, sending faxes, sprinting across the room for a reference volume or to catch someone else and press a file into their hands, and while he definitely wouldn’t miss it, Wufei could admit if only to himself that he was feeling a little nostalgic already.

He checked his phone one more time before sitting at his desk and starting his day. There was a text from Trowa.

_Lunch?_

Wufei smiled, knowing that he was finally ready to start his life over.

_Yes._


End file.
